Saturday, December 26
Thursday, December 24
Transformed
Transformed? No. Beginning to be transformed? Yes. Transformed is past tense and I have not changed 360 degrees but I have begun to transform. It's a process, a long process with lots of battles. Thus begins the transformation. Jesus, keep me humble.
Winter Retreat '09
Wednesday, December 9
The Difference Between Hoshi and my Mom
They want to help us get in to college. What a joke.
When we go sit in the counselor's office on our own initiative, we just get the basic, "You can do it." Or the Ivy League schools aren't the only schools. Students might be caught up with the "elite thinking" but counselors are caught up in "students can't do it, so why try." We already know our options are open but we still want to shoot up there and you aren't helping us. Giving us the overrated, "Do what you love" and the "Trust us, we know what we're doing," doesn't help. What a joke. Oxford Academy's name is no where near worth the grades. Outsiders think students at Oxford get straight A's. Not many outsiders know Oxford is best at fucking up transcripts.
And does Oxford help? What a joke. Technically, Oxford is a college preparatory high school, not a guarantee-good-college high school, but I'd rather go to Kennedy High School and get into a good college and learn from there instead of getting bad grades at a "preparatory" high school and "knowing" what it's like in college. Because in the end, everyone gets used to college whether they were ready in high school or not. Sure it's good to prepare for the future but not to the point where you forget to fully enjoy a normal high school life. But what does Hoshi care? He's cares about your pink tank-top, not you.
Those that maybe care a little tell you, "Oh yes, you can totally go to college with your grades. If you get an 1700 on your SAT and straight B's, you could probably get into a lot of your college choices." And they mean every word. Then you go to your mom and she says, "What the hell is this: 1800 SAT 3A's and 3B's? I'm going to kick you out of the house if you end up in community college." And she also means every word.
Everyone knows college doesn't necessarily guarantee a good career, much less a bright future. Sure, the I-graduated-from-Harvard-law-school sticker you get to wear on your forehead looks great when you meet up with your old friends from elementary or high school but junior college alumni can get a stable and lovable job, too. The school staff tells you that all the time but who fucking cares? Certainly not me or my mom.
When we go sit in the counselor's office on our own initiative, we just get the basic, "You can do it." Or the Ivy League schools aren't the only schools. Students might be caught up with the "elite thinking" but counselors are caught up in "students can't do it, so why try." We already know our options are open but we still want to shoot up there and you aren't helping us. Giving us the overrated, "Do what you love" and the "Trust us, we know what we're doing," doesn't help. What a joke. Oxford Academy's name is no where near worth the grades. Outsiders think students at Oxford get straight A's. Not many outsiders know Oxford is best at fucking up transcripts.
And does Oxford help? What a joke. Technically, Oxford is a college preparatory high school, not a guarantee-good-college high school, but I'd rather go to Kennedy High School and get into a good college and learn from there instead of getting bad grades at a "preparatory" high school and "knowing" what it's like in college. Because in the end, everyone gets used to college whether they were ready in high school or not. Sure it's good to prepare for the future but not to the point where you forget to fully enjoy a normal high school life. But what does Hoshi care? He's cares about your pink tank-top, not you.
Those that maybe care a little tell you, "Oh yes, you can totally go to college with your grades. If you get an 1700 on your SAT and straight B's, you could probably get into a lot of your college choices." And they mean every word. Then you go to your mom and she says, "What the hell is this: 1800 SAT 3A's and 3B's? I'm going to kick you out of the house if you end up in community college." And she also means every word.
Everyone knows college doesn't necessarily guarantee a good career, much less a bright future. Sure, the I-graduated-from-Harvard-law-school sticker you get to wear on your forehead looks great when you meet up with your old friends from elementary or high school but junior college alumni can get a stable and lovable job, too. The school staff tells you that all the time but who fucking cares? Certainly not me or my mom.
"2400 SATs, I'm taking all AP's; 2390 SAT, take me off the family tree."
He who opens a school door, closes a prison. - Victor Hugo
God made the Idiot for practice and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain
He who opens a school door, closes a prison. - Victor Hugo
God made the Idiot for practice and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain
Monday, December 7
Disneyland
Being unable to say what I need to say, being unable to tell someone my frustrations and being unable to express my gratefulness and sincerity is such a pain in the ass.
Disneyland is not really the happiest place on earth when it's raining. Home is. Not the house but home. Disneyland was fun though. Cindy and I took like a bizillion pictures of just ourselves. We went on Space Mountain three times again and finished the entire park by 4:30PM. We got to ride all the rides we wanted to even though it was raining. We got to eat whatever we wanted to and move as we wanted to. I wish I was rich. It's one thing to buy a ticket into Disneyland and another to pay for the fun. A good meal for one person costs around $15 to $20. If you stay there all day, you have to eat lunch and dinner. Then the souvenirs are ridiculously overpriced. A nice plushie-turning-into-pillow Eeyore I wanted was $23. I also wanted a few key chains that would have added up to $15. It's like paying $150 to have full happiness at Disneyland (ticket + food + souvenirs). Gosh. I still love Disneyland though. Disneyland has that "magic" other amusement parks certainly don't have. They just rip their tourists off like all the other theme parks. I felt bad for the first timers at Disneyland. They were probably tourists but they had to pick a rainy day to come. The parade was like a last minute mush together. It only consisted of three cars. So lame. Totally does not live up to the hype of Disney's parades and they didn't get to watch fire works either. I would be a very disappointed first timer.
Disneyland is not really the happiest place on earth when it's raining. Home is. Not the house but home. Disneyland was fun though. Cindy and I took like a bizillion pictures of just ourselves. We went on Space Mountain three times again and finished the entire park by 4:30PM. We got to ride all the rides we wanted to even though it was raining. We got to eat whatever we wanted to and move as we wanted to. I wish I was rich. It's one thing to buy a ticket into Disneyland and another to pay for the fun. A good meal for one person costs around $15 to $20. If you stay there all day, you have to eat lunch and dinner. Then the souvenirs are ridiculously overpriced. A nice plushie-turning-into-pillow Eeyore I wanted was $23. I also wanted a few key chains that would have added up to $15. It's like paying $150 to have full happiness at Disneyland (ticket + food + souvenirs). Gosh. I still love Disneyland though. Disneyland has that "magic" other amusement parks certainly don't have. They just rip their tourists off like all the other theme parks. I felt bad for the first timers at Disneyland. They were probably tourists but they had to pick a rainy day to come. The parade was like a last minute mush together. It only consisted of three cars. So lame. Totally does not live up to the hype of Disney's parades and they didn't get to watch fire works either. I would be a very disappointed first timer.
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
Friday, December 4
Welcome Back Winter Once Again
It's a freakin roller coaster ride. One moment I'm happy and the next I'm angry.
Who knew it was so hard being nice? This week, I'm really learning to appreciate those kind of people, the type that you're maybe not mean, but harsh to but they still accept you and wouldn't mind being friends with just about everyone. Talk about "let[ting] your love stay strong."
There are so many things I want to say straight up to people's faces but I just can't bring myself to. I wish I could tell her that I feel like I'm the only one trying, that I feel like I have to entertain her all the time to keep her with me. I wish I could tell someone else to stop abusing me and using me whenever useful, to shape up and get a clue when everyone around thinks it's annoying and just down right rude. John Mayer, I wish I could just say what I need to say.
Who knew it was so hard being nice? This week, I'm really learning to appreciate those kind of people, the type that you're maybe not mean, but harsh to but they still accept you and wouldn't mind being friends with just about everyone. Talk about "let[ting] your love stay strong."
There are so many things I want to say straight up to people's faces but I just can't bring myself to. I wish I could tell her that I feel like I'm the only one trying, that I feel like I have to entertain her all the time to keep her with me. I wish I could tell someone else to stop abusing me and using me whenever useful, to shape up and get a clue when everyone around thinks it's annoying and just down right rude. John Mayer, I wish I could just say what I need to say.
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say
But some things are better left unsaid. Even if I hate, I can't bring myself to say something too harsh. I'm so stupid.
Well, it's winter now. I love when it's cold and I put on a warm sweater or snuggle in my warm blankets or stand between Angie and Alex and walk in a straight line as they keep me warm. HAHA. I hope it rains and every year, I hope it'll snow. Maybe it'll snow this year.
When it's this time of season, that means it's that time of season again! I love hearing about Winter Formal drama. I don't really like the theme but the location seems really nice and it's until MIDNIGHT. How fun~ It'd be nice to go but who knows. I'd go with Karthika and crew but those tomboys refuse to go, damn it. I need find girlfriends. Oh well, it's totally more than satisfying to watch the ones I adore trying their best. tehee. AJAJA FIGHTING!
Well, it's winter now. I love when it's cold and I put on a warm sweater or snuggle in my warm blankets or stand between Angie and Alex and walk in a straight line as they keep me warm. HAHA. I hope it rains and every year, I hope it'll snow. Maybe it'll snow this year.
When it's this time of season, that means it's that time of season again! I love hearing about Winter Formal drama. I don't really like the theme but the location seems really nice and it's until MIDNIGHT. How fun~ It'd be nice to go but who knows. I'd go with Karthika and crew but those tomboys refuse to go, damn it. I need find girlfriends. Oh well, it's totally more than satisfying to watch the ones I adore trying their best. tehee. AJAJA FIGHTING!
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