First day of CST.
not that bad but they're getting harder and harder every year -____-
today wasn't that hard but it's probably going to get more difficult as the days pass.
chem, bio, and history are going to be the worst. why are we taking so many subjects this year?
not to mention AP exam. really nervous about that.
less than 2 months left.
less than 2 months.
scary.
thought things were different.
but they're the same.
same.
i can't remember the last time normal was so disappointing.
Tuesday, April 28
Saturday, April 25
Fun Day
WHOHOOO.
so today i went to orchestra in the morning like usual.
i was going to go volunteer at the cypress book fair but I came home late from orchestra so i missed it.
after eating lunch at home i went to 09-10 first DCM! it was a meeting, so it wasn't all that fun. but AFTERWARDS. o man. our key club board went to go watch a movie together, 17 Again. SO FUN. it was really good. Made me think Zac Effron was hot. haha. Angie and I were like squealing have the time and telling each other how hot he was. xD It still feels kinda weird saying he's hot whenever I think back on High School Musical but he actually acted very well in 17 Again.
After the movie, we just hung out around Buena Park Mall. The mall's boring but not when you've got the right people ;] We played games, sat on each other, acted like wannabe ninjas, splashed fountain water on each other, played games, and hit each other the korean way. haha. we stayed out till like 10:30ish. wow. DCM started at 1; watched movie at 5; stayed out till 10. WHAT A DAY! I love staying out late like that. its been a while since I've been able to hang out like that. I really loved it.
so today i went to orchestra in the morning like usual.
i was going to go volunteer at the cypress book fair but I came home late from orchestra so i missed it.
after eating lunch at home i went to 09-10 first DCM! it was a meeting, so it wasn't all that fun. but AFTERWARDS. o man. our key club board went to go watch a movie together, 17 Again. SO FUN. it was really good. Made me think Zac Effron was hot. haha. Angie and I were like squealing have the time and telling each other how hot he was. xD It still feels kinda weird saying he's hot whenever I think back on High School Musical but he actually acted very well in 17 Again.
After the movie, we just hung out around Buena Park Mall. The mall's boring but not when you've got the right people ;] We played games, sat on each other, acted like wannabe ninjas, splashed fountain water on each other, played games, and hit each other the korean way. haha. we stayed out till like 10:30ish. wow. DCM started at 1; watched movie at 5; stayed out till 10. WHAT A DAY! I love staying out late like that. its been a while since I've been able to hang out like that. I really loved it.
today was the start of many new things.
Wednesday, April 22
Lately // Key Club
WOW.
I used to write like every other day in here and I haven't been here for a while. Well, during spring break I was too lazy although I had many great days and a very relaxing break. I think I could have had enough stuff to talk about to fill blogs every other day like i used to but eh, I guess lazy would be the right word. Even now I don't have much to say. I've just been thinking a lot and actually doing stuff lately which is good. I need to get other things straight, find things, wait for things, and do things. All in 24 hours each day.
I got my time today. Thanks, Minah.
------
I've been working on Key Club stuff a lot lately. I've recently discovered why I love being a Key Clubber. I"m not a politician. I suck at history and I don't understand policies and complicated government crap very well. I in fact hate it. It's so sly and always looking to scheme people. In history, national relations policies (whatever you call them) seem to be too self-centered and heartless. For example, countries only join wars if it helps them, not because they want to help others. Of course, this may just be the reality, something that can't be changed and is only done in the good of its citizens and the fault may be the citizens' for bad judgment. But for me, someone who likes fantasies, cinderellas, and happy endings, I'd rather not experience such reality. It makes the world seem dirty, selfish, and cunning. But on a smaller scale, the reality can be beautiful. The sun shines every day with cloudy/rainy days here and there. On rainy days, we can share umbrellas. On a sunny Easter-weekend-Saturday, we can go help children collect eggs filled with candy, paint their faces with their imagination, and take pictures with the giant easter bunny. When it's too hot outside, we can go inside and share ice cream while making picture frames. The sun's always shining. This is why I love Key Club. The world is unfair. But maybe for a few hours, we can change that fact. For a few hours, we can a child happy. For a few hours, we can make other volunteers' jobs easier and more efficient. For a few hours, we can make make the sun shine. And by the end of the year, all these hours total up to thousands of hours the sun's been shining. It's thousands of hours where we don't have to think about politics and the other billion problems we're having. It's thousands of hours of shining, serving, bonding, caring, and loving.
I used to write like every other day in here and I haven't been here for a while. Well, during spring break I was too lazy although I had many great days and a very relaxing break. I think I could have had enough stuff to talk about to fill blogs every other day like i used to but eh, I guess lazy would be the right word. Even now I don't have much to say. I've just been thinking a lot and actually doing stuff lately which is good. I need to get other things straight, find things, wait for things, and do things. All in 24 hours each day.
I got my time today. Thanks, Minah.
------
I've been working on Key Club stuff a lot lately. I've recently discovered why I love being a Key Clubber. I"m not a politician. I suck at history and I don't understand policies and complicated government crap very well. I in fact hate it. It's so sly and always looking to scheme people. In history, national relations policies (whatever you call them) seem to be too self-centered and heartless. For example, countries only join wars if it helps them, not because they want to help others. Of course, this may just be the reality, something that can't be changed and is only done in the good of its citizens and the fault may be the citizens' for bad judgment. But for me, someone who likes fantasies, cinderellas, and happy endings, I'd rather not experience such reality. It makes the world seem dirty, selfish, and cunning. But on a smaller scale, the reality can be beautiful. The sun shines every day with cloudy/rainy days here and there. On rainy days, we can share umbrellas. On a sunny Easter-weekend-Saturday, we can go help children collect eggs filled with candy, paint their faces with their imagination, and take pictures with the giant easter bunny. When it's too hot outside, we can go inside and share ice cream while making picture frames. The sun's always shining. This is why I love Key Club. The world is unfair. But maybe for a few hours, we can change that fact. For a few hours, we can a child happy. For a few hours, we can make other volunteers' jobs easier and more efficient. For a few hours, we can make make the sun shine. And by the end of the year, all these hours total up to thousands of hours the sun's been shining. It's thousands of hours where we don't have to think about politics and the other billion problems we're having. It's thousands of hours of shining, serving, bonding, caring, and loving.
"One thing to do, three words for you: JOIN KEY CLUB." -Judy Kim
Tuesday, April 7
Dcon + Today
April 3-5, 2009
DCON!! it was SOOOO MUCH FUN. I don't really know why though. Half the time, I was in workshops, where someone was presenting something to me. Half of those, I fell asleep. But the little things really made it fun: bonding with friends, trasnferring passion, seeing how much the world cares, sitting in one corner together discussing things we were restricted to do, complaining and sharing screams, laughing at each other in the hotel rooms, eating together, being hungry together, taking pictures together, cheering together. Maybe because everyone was so TOGETHER. Right now, I've learned to love Key Club for myself honestly. The high's, cheering, and meeting new people. But now, I want to learn to love serving people, serving low-income families, serving seniors, serving our school, serving home, serving the environment, serving anyone/anything who needs help.
I still haven't taken my bracelet off that allowed me to enter and exit the convention center because I want to go back so much. Because I want it to remind me why I'm a Key Clubber.
-------------------
BUT TODAY. damn I'm so pissed off.
When I came home, I did whatever I wanted: went on the internet, just laid around, doing nothing. Then after eating dinner (without my parents home) I noticed the dishes are piling up in the sink. I noticed the laundry pile was getting taller. I noticed we have a whole bunch of rice in the refrigerator and freezer like we're storing for winter. I noticed our refigerator is a little emptier than usual. I noticed my parents were coming home later than usual. I noticed my parents are getting more and more sick. I noticed my dad started packing me lunch (so I don't have to buy; i don't think they know I am in Judy's debt). I can't help but get worried. My parents own a private business but they aren't like those lazy private businesses out there that give a mediocre quality for the largest amount of money. My parents actually WORK HARD (not just try) to provide their customers with the best quality they can. They make sure their products are sewn right, look right, etc.
But what do I do? I sit here wasting hours on the internet. I sit here doing whatever I want that doesn't benefit anyone (not even me). What the fcuk am I doing? I don't get the grades my mom can be proud of. I don't have study habits my mom wants me to have. She spends thousands of dollars on tutor that I never study or prepare for. She spends hundreds of dollars on my flute lessons that I never ever practice for. My parents waste gas sending me to school that I hardly try in. And whenever I get the chance, I go spend their money to have fun and use it on myself. Dayum.
NO MORE.
I'm going to do my homework. I'm going to study. I'm going to do all the chores. I'm going to help out my parents whenever I can. I'm going to save money. Then, when things look better, when things get stable, I'll be able to PROUDLY spend the money I earned of course still sparingly. I'm stingy now; by then i'll know what it means to work for your money and be even stingier.
BUT THING IS.
I was going to break down because of this (again, twice in one week, not good). [...] Now I'm just pissed even more.
I'M SORRY. I was really upset and stressed and I ended up blaming you. I'M SORRY. I thought about it more and it is not like that. You tell me everything. I'm sorry for not having something to say all the time. I'm sure I wasn't the only one trying. I'm sorry.
----
I've found you. Please find me.
----
DCON!! it was SOOOO MUCH FUN. I don't really know why though. Half the time, I was in workshops, where someone was presenting something to me. Half of those, I fell asleep. But the little things really made it fun: bonding with friends, trasnferring passion, seeing how much the world cares, sitting in one corner together discussing things we were restricted to do, complaining and sharing screams, laughing at each other in the hotel rooms, eating together, being hungry together, taking pictures together, cheering together. Maybe because everyone was so TOGETHER. Right now, I've learned to love Key Club for myself honestly. The high's, cheering, and meeting new people. But now, I want to learn to love serving people, serving low-income families, serving seniors, serving our school, serving home, serving the environment, serving anyone/anything who needs help.
I still haven't taken my bracelet off that allowed me to enter and exit the convention center because I want to go back so much. Because I want it to remind me why I'm a Key Clubber.
-------------------
BUT TODAY. damn I'm so pissed off.
When I came home, I did whatever I wanted: went on the internet, just laid around, doing nothing. Then after eating dinner (without my parents home) I noticed the dishes are piling up in the sink. I noticed the laundry pile was getting taller. I noticed we have a whole bunch of rice in the refrigerator and freezer like we're storing for winter. I noticed our refigerator is a little emptier than usual. I noticed my parents were coming home later than usual. I noticed my parents are getting more and more sick. I noticed my dad started packing me lunch (so I don't have to buy; i don't think they know I am in Judy's debt). I can't help but get worried. My parents own a private business but they aren't like those lazy private businesses out there that give a mediocre quality for the largest amount of money. My parents actually WORK HARD (not just try) to provide their customers with the best quality they can. They make sure their products are sewn right, look right, etc.
But what do I do? I sit here wasting hours on the internet. I sit here doing whatever I want that doesn't benefit anyone (not even me). What the fcuk am I doing? I don't get the grades my mom can be proud of. I don't have study habits my mom wants me to have. She spends thousands of dollars on tutor that I never study or prepare for. She spends hundreds of dollars on my flute lessons that I never ever practice for. My parents waste gas sending me to school that I hardly try in. And whenever I get the chance, I go spend their money to have fun and use it on myself. Dayum.
NO MORE.
I'm going to do my homework. I'm going to study. I'm going to do all the chores. I'm going to help out my parents whenever I can. I'm going to save money. Then, when things look better, when things get stable, I'll be able to PROUDLY spend the money I earned of course still sparingly. I'm stingy now; by then i'll know what it means to work for your money and be even stingier.
I was going to break down because of this (again, twice in one week, not good). [...] Now I'm just pissed even more.
I'M SORRY. I was really upset and stressed and I ended up blaming you. I'M SORRY. I thought about it more and it is not like that. You tell me everything. I'm sorry for not having something to say all the time. I'm sure I wasn't the only one trying. I'm sorry.
----
I've found you. Please find me.
----
Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.
- Hafiz (Perisan poet of the 1300s)
(Sorry Erin, but I like the italicize thing you do so props to you)
- Hafiz (Perisan poet of the 1300s)
(Sorry Erin, but I like the italicize thing you do so props to you)
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